This story was published in The Northwest Indiana Times on March 6, 2008. It was written for a class while Molly was attending Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism.

After examining her late father’s utility bills, Lynda DeLaforgue noticed he had a contract with Houston-based U.S. Energy Savings Corp.

DeLaforgue estimates that the company charged her father — who was living near O’Hare Airport on a pension of $2,300 per month — about $2,000 more in two years than he would have paid under his former utility agreement.

DeLaforgue happens to be the co-director of Citizen Action/Illinois, which on Monday joined with Chicago-based Citizens Utility Board and AARP Illinois to file a complaint against U.S. Energy with the Illinois Commerce Commission. The Northwest Indiana Better Business Bureau has reported receiving more than 250 complaints about the firm.

U.S. Energy, a subsidiary of Energy Savings Income Fund, stated in a release Tuesday that it “denies the allegations raised and will vigorously defend” itself.

The company is an alternative gas supplier. It offers long-term, fixed-rate contracts, which are designed to protect customers from rising costs. U.S. Energy supplies the gas; a regulated utility such as Nicor Inc., Integrys Energy Group Inc. or NiSource Inc. delivers the product and makes money from delivery fees.

This distinction can create problems for customers.

“The bills that you get keep coming on your previous company’s letterhead and then it just says in fine print at the bottom of the bill that you’ve contracted for your supplier to be the U.S. Energy Savings Corp.,” DeLaforgue said.

The amount of gas a household uses is measured in therms. According to the coalition’s complaint, U.S. Energy sales personnel go door-to-door, asking customers to sign four- or five-year contracts with locked-in therm prices. The representatives play on fears of increasing costs of gasoline without clarifying that natural gas is a different product – with very different prices – than gas used in cars.

“It seems like they particularly prey upon seniors and people who don’t speak English,” DeLaforgue said.

U.S. Energy said in its press release that it offers “special protections to seniors and those whose first language is other than Spanish or English.” No one at the company could be reached for clarification on those protections.

This is not the first time the Citizens Utility Board and U.S. Energy have tussled. A 2006 complaint by CUB ended in a settlement, U.S. Energy admitting no wrongdoing, that provided refunds for customers who believe they were misled, and canceled some contracts without charging exit fees.

The 2006 press release quoted U.S. Energy CEO Brennan Mulcahy: “At the beginning of the contract term, the U.S. Energy fixed price is often higher than the floating utility price.” However, he added, “any premium initially paid compared to their local utility price, as of the end of fiscal 2006, substantially all customers who have completed a five year fixed price gas contract with us have saved money.”

Complaints against U.S. Energy increased 125 percent from 2006 to 2007, according to the Better Business Bureau of Chicago and Northern Illinois. Moreover, “the complaints for the first two months of this year versus the first two months of last year are up 250 percent,” said Steve Bernas, BBB’s president and CEO.

The BBB has about 200,000 reports on businesses in Illinois. In December 2005, the BBB listed U.S. Energy as unsatisfactory. About 30 percent of the companies covered have that rating. Companies are demoted because of unresolved customer complaints.

A month ago Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan filed a lawsuit against the company, accusing it of deceptive sales tactics.

This story was published in The Windy Citizen on February 27, 2008. It was written for a class while Molly was attending Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism.

Bill Stoltzman last visited Jarosch Bakery three days ago. He purchased the same thing he’s bought “since Jarosch opened”: sweet, crumbly slices of apricot graham cookies.

Jarosch Bakery Inc., in Elk Grove Village, is a family-owned company with very loyal customers. It will celebrate its 50th anniversary next year and Stoltzman, 73, expects to be there.

Despite the seemingly ever-increasing presence of chain bakeries, owner Ken Jarosch says his small business is stable. “Our revenues are in the vicinity of $2.5 million,” he said, “The same as last year.”

“We’re a pretty well-established business, making the stuff that we make, and people like to come in and get exactly that, because they’ve been getting it for years. That’s what they want,” Jarosch said.

Case in point: “We have five grown children, four of whom live out of town,” Stoltzman said. “The first place the four from out of town stop is Jarosch. They all have their favorites.”

Jarosch Bakery is known mostly for its custom-made, decorated cakes. “One of the more unique ones that I can remember, because I ended up making it, was a cake for a nurse,” Ken Jarosch said. “They wanted a severed arm. And so we made a severed arm and put a band-aid on it and everything.”

The business frequently gets requests for cakes for bachelor and bachelorette parties. Jarosch said he’ll fill some of those orders, but “generally what people are really wanting is what I would consider a pornographic cake.”

Jarosch’s prices range from pocket change to weekend splurge. A small Easter egg cake costs $1.55, while an eight-inch Boston cream pie costs $6.25. A decadent amaretto whipped cream torte comes in at $20.75.

Jarosch regularly employs about 50 people. “We’ve got 25 people in the back and roughly 25 people in the front. A good majority of those 25 in the front are either high-school kids or college kids going to a local school,” Jarosch said.

Though the bakery relies on part-time help, particularly during the Christmas rush, a number of employees have worked there more than a decade.

One woman “has been here not quite since we opened, but pretty darn close. She’s over 45 years at this point,” Jarosch said. “One of our managers in the back with coffee cakes is about 30 years. One other guy working on sweet rolls has been with us over 25… The ones who haven’t been here 30 years have been here eight to 12 years, which I think is a good thing.”

Marianne Domino, head decorator in the cake department, has been employed by Jarosch for more than 27 years. When asked what convinced her to stick around, she said cake decorating satisfies her creative side.

“I just really, really enjoy it,” she said.

Jarosch is large enough that the tasks for a single product are done by separate bakers, assembly-line style, particularly with the large, tiered cakes.

“There’s somebody down there who will take the layers and put it together,” Domino said, “then it goes to another person who will ice it, and then I just strictly decorate them.”

The amount of time it takes to make and decorate a wedding cake depends on the size and complexity of design, but Domino estimates it generally takes a couple of hours.

The bakery is able to match icing colors to fabric swatches, a critical issue for any bride.

“Sometimes they’ll bring in the lace of their wedding dress and they’ll want the lace done onto the wedding cake… and that can be very detailed, with all the beading and things like that.”

Decorated cakes start at $18.25, while the wedding cakes range from $84 to about $700.

Head Baker Raul Farfan has been with Jarosch for 26 years. “Originally it was just a summer job,” he laughed.

Jarosch estimates that he goes through about 3,000 pounds of flour and 2,000 pounds of sugar each week. “It definitely goes up in December,” he said, “because that is by far our highest production run throughout the year. It probably goes up by about 25 percent, possibly a little more.”

But Jarosch not only feeds its customers – it feeds the community, too.

“We live in Elk Grove Village, we work in Elk Grove Village, our kids went to Elk Grove Village schools,” Jarosch said. The bakery gives gift certificates for raffles and auctions to local theater groups, churches and scouting organizations. It hires frequently from Elk Grove High School and has what Jarosch calls “an excellent relationship” with the school and the community in general. “We try to help the local organizations or the local chapters because those are our customers,” he said.

Jarosch Bakery gets shortening products from Illinois-based companies. Its cherries come from Wisconsin. The blueberries, Michigan. The wheat used for the flour is usually milled in Minnesota. “A lot of our suppliers are local,” Jarosch said. And it’s the commitment to being a presence in the community that makes Jarosch Bakery special.

Farfan said the quality is what makes Jarosch distinctive. “We use the finest ingredients. It’s in our reputation, you can tell. When I bring stuff home people say, ‘Oh, I’ve been there, I know that.’”

Stoltzman agreed that the “quality and variety” separate Jarosch from other bakeries.

The bakery expanded in 1993, absorbing an adjacent dry-cleaning business. The move doubled the size of the retail store and also increased production area. “We stayed basically in the same spot, we just got a little bit wider,” Jarosch said. “The business, that is.”

Though he acknowledges more space is needed at Easter, Christmas and during graduations, he’s not thinking of opening a second location.

“Our business relies heavily on the artistic ability of our employees and the supervising of that talent,” he said, “And the fact that we’re here watching over things and making sure things are getting done is the way we want it.”

This story was published in The Windy Citizen on March 12, 2008. It was written for a class while Molly was attending Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism.

Some Midwestern schools think the answer to higher electricity bills is blowing in the wind.

K-12s, colleges and universities have been putting wind turbines on their campuses since 1993, mainly to combat rising energy prices. But they’re also a learning experience, and those in Illinois are helping meet the state’s renewable-energy goal.

There are between 400 and 500 wind-energy turbines operating in Illinois. They produce between 350 and 699 megawatts of electric power annually, depending, of course, on how the wind blows. More turbines are built each year, but they have yet to provide more than 1 percent of Illinois’ energy needs.

Gabriela Martin, program officer for renewable energy at Chicago-based Illinois Clean Energy Community Foundation (ICECF), said, “If you have 699 megawatts, that’s pretty good. That’s like a coal plant.”

There are no official figures for how many Illinois schools have turbines. However, the success of three schools in Illinois, two in Iowa and one in Michigan, demonstrate that wind energy is both educational and an economic benefit. At one high school, over half its electricity needs are produced by its own turbine. At least two other schools are in the process of exploring turbines.

“The wind market is really crazy right now. It’s like the housing market two-three years ago,” Martin said.

The ICECF has awarded 25 wind feasibility study grants, generally used to determine if sites are windy enough. The majority of these grants – 20 of the 25 – have gone to schools, for a total of $507,000.

Three colleges in the state were awarded turbine installation grants, totaling $1.9 million; three schools were awarded grants that came to $2.5 million.

Turbines have turned heads in the Illinois legislature. Roger Brown, program manager of the Illinois Institute for Rural Affairs at Western Illinois University, noted a new law: “The Renewable Portfolio Standard requires that a percentage of Illinois’ power or electricity must be generated from renewable energy, that is, 25 percent by 2025. I believe 75 percent of that renewable [energy] must be from wind. There’s an incentive there. It starts out at 2 percent this year. that’s a fairly aggressive situation.”

Though federal and state governments, recognizing that wind power isn’t yet a profitable business, have been working sporadically to make windfarms economically viable – mainly through tax credits – school administrators said the uncertain government policies and lack of commercial viability don’t concern them, since they aren’t commercial operations.

Terry Gutshall is the superintendent of Bureau Valley Community Unit School District, based in Manlius, Ill., 130 miles southwest of Chicago. It’s the first Illinois K-12 school to get a turbine.

“We can see the volatility in the world market,” he said. “We can see what the impact of energy consumption is, and we’re trying to do our part to help our taxpayers out and help renewable energy.”

Bureau Valley’s turbine has been turning since 2005. It can produce 660 kilowatts per year, making it one of the larger residential-scale models. It is 220 feet from the base to the top, with blades 76 feet in length. (When Admiral Richard Byrd made the world’s first flight over the South Pole in 1929, his airplane had a wingspan equal to just one of Bureau Valley’s blades.)

The $1 million turbine provides “well over half, if not two-thirds” of the electricity consumed at Bureau Valley High School, Gutshall said.

“Our net savings are around $20,000. You know, that’s almost a teacher,” he said. “The gross savings were $100,000 and we’re looking at. for sure between $70,000 and $100,000 as far as net savings.”

Spirit Lake Community School District, in Spirit Lake, Iowa, installed its first turbine in 1993. A second followed shortly thereafter. The school board authorized looking at a third last year.

The first turbine cost $239,500. The 250-kw, 140-foot high structure paid for itself in five years. Turbines produced 100 percent of the school’s energy in 2001, but due to construction projects, they supply only about 60 percent of the current need.

The combination of schools and wind turbines is teaching young children about renewable energy, and big kids don’t want to be left behind.

“The students are starting to push the university’s administrators,” said Phil Gatton, the director of plant and service operations at Southern Illinois University – Carbondale.

SIUC is in the feasibility-study stage, deciding if having a turbine makes financial sense.

“We’re in a marginal wind zone here at Southern Illinois, and our hope is that if we can prove that it works here, it’ll pretty well be able to work anywhere in the state,” Gatton said.

The university’s 2,000 acres of farmland on the western part of its campus will be the turbine site, if it’s built. The model being evaluated has a 2.5 megawatt capacity – similar to the large machines used on commercial windfarms – and would rest on a tower 300 feet high.

“We’d be looking at [spending] six and a quarter million dollars,” said SIUC electrical engineer Justin Harell.

SIUC students will vote in April on whether to establish a per-credit-hour fee of up to $10 a semester to be used exclusively for sustainability projects like the wind turbine.

“I think everybody could agree that our reliance on fossil fuels and foreign oil is not a good thing for the country,” Gatton said. “I think investment in renewables, especially when you can prove that they’re cost effective [is] something the university should take a leadership role in.”

Several Illinois K-12 schools are also in the process of getting turbines. At Erie Community Unit School District, a neighbor of Bureau Valley, Superintendent Michael Ryan began examining wind power in 2005.

“I was very concerned about deregulation in January of 2007, and I wanted to be energy independent by that date. So that was really my big motivator and the deregulated market really scared me and I wanted to see if I had an alternative to that and wind energy could be that.”

The school hopes to complete the turbine by June.

“When the pieces of the turbine started arriving last year, I’d bring the students out to the turbine so they could really see the pieces on the ground, because when they get in the air you don’t get that perspective of how big they are. So I went over and had them touch the pieces. Each one of our blades weighs 4,000 pounds and laid out there, it really is something for them to see. I wanted them to get a sense of what the turbine really is and not just something up in the air making electricity,” Ryan said.

The turbines have been successful. “They pretty much run themselves,” Spirit Lake’s facility director, Jim Tirevold, said. However, schools might balk once they get wind of increasing prices and wait times.

“They just can’t make blades fast enough, they can’t build gearboxes fast enough; it’s just amazing,” Martin said. “That has driven the prices up significantly. the economics have been affected adversely for wind just because there’s such a huge demand worldwide, from India to China to the U.S. to Europe. You just can’t get enough wind turbines.”

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

When designing this column, I aim to relate the peaks and pitfalls of my experience as an undergraduate in a way that will make you think, feel and laugh. I hope the information I’ve shared has been a help. As a grand finale and because I love compilations, I created this: a list of the Top 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Four Years Ago.

1. … that Barbaro was going to suffer a breakdown in the Preakness. That’s the last time I’ll put my money on a horse.
2. … not to take survey classes. A general education in a subject may sound like a good idea, but these types of courses are often lecture-based, over-populated and generally useless. Go for something more specialized, even if you don’t have a background in the area.
3. … that numbers don’t correspond with difficulty level. Unlike the gym’s RPE (Rate of Perceived Exertion) levels, course numbers don’t indicate how much effort you’ll put into the class. Higher numbers almost always mean smaller classes, which almost always work better for almost everyone.
4. … to spend time alone. I place a lot of emphasis on involvement in extracurricular activities, and the fuller my schedule is, the better I function. Yet, some of the moments I felt most at peace were when I was strolling through my neighborhood, baking, knitting, out for a drive… don’t be afraid to do things by yourself.
5. … to expect a change in outlook. I knew I’d be different after four years at U.Va., but I was thinking in terms of hair cuts and favorite colors. I didn’t foresee a huge change in my political opinions or which groups I identify myself with. Even my musical taste has altered. That’s right, folks. Now I only listen to the Beach Boys on special occasions.
6. … to figure out how you operate. It seems obvious, but learning what strategies work for you can simplify your life enormously. I like to study with music playing, but if there are lyrics, I can’t focus. I accomplish more if I do it early in the day, rather than late at night. Pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses early and learn to work with – not against – yourself.
7. … to take pictures. Like reality television, college is worth documenting.
8. … to enjoy your college. Go to sporting events, shows and class functions. You’ll feel tapped into the school. And there’s always free food.
9. … to cozy up to your city. Even if you live in a college town like Charlottesville, there are loads of local happenings that will appeal to you. It’s also important to remember that you aren’t living in a city created exclusively for students; imagine the town as a hotel that you’re staying in. Think town center, not self-centered.
10. … to choose teachers, not topics. A good professor is like a pair of galoshes. You can wear them in all weather and be pretty comfortable. A bad professor is like a pair of spiky stilettos. They look nice for a while, but it’s t-minus two minutes until your feet begin to hurt. Great teachers will make anything interesting and the opposite is true of bad ones.

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

Seeing the University of Virginia’s men’s basketball team make it to the second round of the NCAA tournament brought me back my own basketball career. Though it was short-lived, I made good use of my two-inch vertical leap and attained virtual stardom in my 175-person high school. Oh yes, my fingers were like the jaws of steel traps. My speed was such that they called me Molly ”Mach 3” Seltzer.

My coaches stressed the benefits of visualization. They’d stand at my shoulder on the foul line and murmur in their most convincing disembodied-genie-in-the-magic-lamp voices, “Believe the ball’s going in … See yourself sinking the shot … Watch yourself score.” Being a snarky know-it-all who actually knew nothing, I’d chuck the ball too hard, too high, just to prove their Jedi mind trick tactics didn’t work. I was a fine player without visualization. I was above that. I was impervious.

I was stupid.

According to a special series on the brain in the January 29 issue of TIME Magazine, “The brain can change as a result of the thoughts we think.” This means that putting a spin on things in your head – “That test went terribly, I’m going to fail the class” versus “That test was pretty bad, but at least I know what to study for next time” – can not only make you happier and more satisfied with your life, but might also increase your chances of succeeding in the future.

So is the power of positive thinking a sure thing?
If we think positively, will we get good results … positively?

Is luck learned behavior? Can you think yourself successful?

I’m still waiting to hear from my first-choice graduate school and though I’m getting frustrated, I’m attempting to be firmly and unfailingly optimistic. But I can’t will things to happen. (A problem I would categorize as a “total bummer.”) Since there’s nothing I can do but wait, a cheerful outlook seems to be just the ticket. The view posited by bestselling self-help books and numerous alternative texts suggests that American culture’s obsessive nature has turned superstitious. This is nothing new, of course. After all, former Red Sox and Yankees player Wade Boggs ate chicken before every game, without fail. (One might say he was looking to avoid a fowl ball, har har.) You’d be hard pressed to find a person who isn’t aware of the rituals surrounding ladders, black cats, sidewalk cracks and the number 13.

The Law of Attraction says that the thoughts you think call similar thoughts to you. So if you’re worried that you’ll be late for class and you keep thinking about being late for class, you’ll probably be late for class. Most people have experienced this in terms of tripping or stumbling – if you think about falling down, you generally do. The principle works similarly with positive thoughts; if you envision, if you believe and feel that you’re achieving something, can you make it happen? Simply through the power of your thoughts?

There’s nascent scientific evidence that humans can somehow change the chemistry of their brain by repeatedly thinking certain thoughts. Where the Law of Attraction differs from science is that it takes this one step further and suggests that by changing your brain, you can also change what happens in your life.

I have a hard time grasping how my free throws affect the universe, but the point is that a positive outlook certainly changes how you perceive yourself, which changes what risks you take, what friends you have and other important aspects of your life. While optimism begets success, I believe in backing things up with hard work, perseverance and a little luck, though visualization couldn’t hurt.

Swish.

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

Jim Davis, creator of the Garfield comic strip, once wrote, “I could wallpaper a room with my rejection slips.” From an interior-design standpoint, not such a great idea. In terms of maintaining an optimistic viewpoint, also not the best plan. Yet, I think Jim’s on to something.

There are always going to be times when things are … stacked against the punter. (The punter being you.) You can’t always get the gig, the job, the girl (or boy). What’s to be done? Embrace disappointment as a part of life, just the way successes are. Right now, students are applying to and hearing from colleges and graduate schools; it’s the time when seniors interview for jobs. My own collegiate stress was weighing me down, so my resolution this year was to be ok with disappointment. This column describes my quest to figure out how.

I’m not exactly swimming in a sea of condolences when something goes awry. This has become particularly pronounced in my time at the University of Virginia. The atmosphere here is one of stifling successes. When people do poorly, their failure is locked in the closet and the key swallowed – gulp – before the world hears about it. I wonder, in a world of winners, are those who succeed the real losers? Why do we focus on self-help more than self-health? What should you do when something doesn’t go your way?

I studied greeting cards. If you ever need a query answered (What’s the meaning of life? Will Troy Polamalu ever cut his hair? Is it true that humans share more genetic code with sea urchins than dogs?), locate your nearest Hallmark store. Greeting cards synthesize everything the average American wants to say into three-line quips, some with sound. There wasn’t much solace in condolence, however. One rose-covered fold-out drooled, “Sorry for your loss.” Generic, geriatric communiqués wouldn’t help me get over a disappointment.

Still not having an all-purpose answer, I did something rash. I asked myself. “Self,” I said, “What do you do when you’re disappointed about something?” My first thought was of a cheesy mantra written on my high-school math teacher’s wall. It asked which angle was the most successful, and the answer was the “try-angle.” After discarding that as utterly useless, I thought of my mother’s catch phrase: Rise above it. This too, failed me. There’s something about the brusqueness, the aggression of that mandate that doesn’t make me feel better. (It’s more salvo than salve.) So I went deeper into my memory, trying to locate the spark that keeps me going when I’ve been disappointed.

There isn’t a spark. There’s a brushing off of the hands, a readjusting of the glasses and then I just keep going. That’s all. And I think that’s all anybody does. You can’t let a disappointment end your goals. (Any good sports movie will tell you that.) Furthermore, since American culture supports the view that your worth is dictated by your success – a problem, since everyone can’t succeed all of the time – it’s hard to remember that failure is healthy. You don’t have to bounce back immediately, either. Kate Hudson lost her baby weight an unprecedented three minutes after giving birth and look what happened to her! Bad example. The point is, it’s ok to not succeed. It’s going to happen whether you like it or not, so keep your chin up and don’t let failure make you quit. Keep going because it’s the only thing to do. That, and change the wallpaper.

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

I love the term “common courtesy,” particularly because we use the phrase when we want to note there’s been a lack of it. Nobody mentions common courtesy when it’s there; they lament its absence and from the number of times we use the phrase, it seems courtesy is actually rather elusive. Rules of etiquette can be daunting, particularly for those unaccustomed to reading the syndicated “Miss Manners” column (unlike me and everyone’s grandparents). In fact, I suggest you examine your own life and habits to be sure you aren’t offending any passersby when you pass the salt before the pepper.

There are an equal number of rules when it comes to applying for jobs. The only time I hear these rules talked about, however, is when fellow undergraduates poll each other to see what’s expected. It’s the rude leading the rude. I don’t have the 20 years experience to match Miss Manners’, but I do have Appalachian charm and a great record with old men and cats, which makes me well-qualified to talk about formal politeness.

The consensus on thank-you notes firmly says one should send a letter post-interview, pre-hire. After your interview, whether it’s on the phone or in person, jot down a quick thank you. This sounds daunting: What do you really have to say to that person when you’ve only known them for an hour? It also seems cheesy and a little… suck up-ish. Don’t think like that. Just show your appreciation that the interviewer took the time to speak to you and hear your thoughts. Try to insert something from the conversation that they’ll remember, maybe a shared interest you discussed. Be sure to write cleanly, but do not type the letter. Make it personal and snappy.

When being interviewed on the phone, go where it’s secluded and indoors. (The talking-in-a-wind-tunnel effect can happen even if it doesn’t seem breezy on your end.) Don’t mumble if you’re nervous or screech if you’re accepted. It may be a fabulous job, but nobody wants to be the kid who blew the boss’ eardrums when they got hired.

For all other things, be as conservative as you can. Dress nicely and neatly; be on time and cheerful. It’s also important to Google the person who you’ll speak to: See their history and give yourself some talking points.

After advising you to be conservative, I’m going to do the opposite. I’d like to remind those employers who might be reading that they also have an obligation. This year, as I applied for graduate schools and summer internships, I was appalled at how rudely business was conducted. Graduate schools were late on their deadlines to announce acceptances. One school pushed the deadline back three times, missed it by two days on their last attempt, sent my letter to the wrong address, and failed entirely to send the email they promised was coming after that. Summer internships say that due to the number of applicants, they are unable to contact people not selected. They are apparently also unable to give applicants a time frame to let them know when they should be taking no news to mean bad news. How long does it take to send a form email?

We, as applicants, are willing to do almost anything to get these gigs. We want to give them our unpaid summer labor, we want to fork over enormous amounts of cash for tuition, we want to move to cities where we don’t know anyone.

The least we can ask in return is a little common courtesy.

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

College is like a colander — it strains things. Mostly relationships. Mostly relationships with your parents. The way I see it, there are two types of parental predicaments. The first is when you fight over issues that hadn’t surfaced when everyone was living together during high school. The second is when kids begin to see their moms and dads as people instead of parents — faults, flaws and all.

Many students parent-proof their dorm rooms before a visit from the folks. They remove curse words, references to drugs or alcohol, and they Febreze the living daylights out of soft surfaces to remove the scent of the opposite sex. This struck me as a little paranoid when I first witnessed it, but I’ve seen this frantic overhauling so many times since that it’s about as surprising as watching a stoplight change colors.

Not only is this ritual strange, but it’s unproductive. If you and your parents disagree, tell them your thoughts and reasoning, then reaffirm your love for each other. Part of being a family is making each other feel loved, no matter what kinds of decisions anybody makes. It is unconditional love which allows growth and expansion, allows the creation of character. No matter the issue — politics, pre-marital sex, drinking, sexual orientation, study habits — it isn’t important enough for you to lose your family.

One way of dealing with this type of situation is to talk more often. Whenever I feel threatened or uncomfortable in a situation, I try to ignore it. This is not the right way to handle things. Not only has it caused unnecessarily long-term discomfort, but it often prompts the nickname “Sulky Seltzer.” I’d recommend that you make chatting with the ‘rents a pleasant experience. Furthermore, take it upon yourself to be responsible. If they call too much, tell them you’re busy and you’ll give them a ring tomorrow. Then do it. Believe it or not, there are things you have in common — the least of them being the houseplants and the most being you.

The second common problem I see between kids and their family stems from the shifting of power that often occurs during the college years. Teenagers are flung into this situation with radically different types of people — living together, eating together, getting the flu together — and we have to adjust quickly and figure out how to understand each other. All this analysis of character is bound to rub off. As you gain more independence and authority (even if it’s just legally, with your 18th and 21st birthdays), that means your parents have to relinquish their vice-like grip; when things are about even steven, you’ll start viewing your family objectively. My most important piece of advice is: have patience.

As you begin picking them apart, as you inevitably will, remember that a large part of you is them. Their habits and preferences shaped and guided your entire life. Even if you swear you’ll never be like your dad, it’s from him that you learned what you didn’t like. I got lucky; since I’ve gone away I’ve discovered that I like my mom and dad as people as well as bill-payers. (Phew.)

Think of how much is illuminated when you put a light source farther away from an object; you can see more. The same is true with people. Physical distance acts like a lamp and often sheds light on things you didn’t notice when you were close to the situation. College is that light — behave with patience and grace, and your relationship with your parents will be sunny, no clouds in the sky.

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

I’m a good person. I’m nice to children and old ladies; I don’t kick dogs or cats. I try to eat right and exercise. I always use the correct amount of postage. I don’t pay taxes, but if I did, I’d pay them on time. No, ahead of time!

All of this serves to highlight the absurd fact of the matter – I can’t get a job. I’m not talking about internships or career opportunities. No, I’ve had more of those than you can shake a résumé at. I’m talking about good, ole, retail, waitressing, babysitting jobs. It seems I have to live my college life entirely unhirably.

Many college students view breaks from school as money-earning periods along with relief from homework. This sounds great, especially to your tired, professional wage-earning parents. The problem arises when high school whippersnappers sneak in and steal our jobs before we get home from school! Yes, my collegiate friends. We are being stabbed in the back by our younger brethren! Stab, stab, they go, until every last paying place is taken.

Fine. That’s not how it happens. But kids who worked jobs during the year stay on, and every parent in their right mind shouts at their offspring to sign themselves up before the college kids get home. It makes us sound like the plague.

I have never held a part-time summer job, but the summer two years ago was my worst experience yet. I was interning as a reporter for Richmond.com, an online newspaper based out of – you guessed it – Richmond, Virginia. I worked from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. five days a week, and during those steamy late afternoons, I was bored out of my gourd.

I went to every place I’d like to work and applied for a part-time job. No dice. The next week, I applied to places I didn’t think I was right for. I remember one store devoted entirely to vintage Christmas décor. It was August, but I rosy-ed my sweaty cheeks and ho ho hoped to get the job. Needless to say, by the time I reached my third round of applications, I was getting desperate.

“I want to work long hours,” I yelled. “Pay me badly! I beg you!”

Then I, a 15-year vegetarian, decided to work at a fast-food joint. I shuffled into a Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardees, three different McDonald’s and an Arby’s. I filled out the paper saying I was free on weekends and the late shift July 4th. I shuffled out of a Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardees, three different McDonald’s and an Arby’s. I was a little dissatisfied, but I knew I’d soon be getting a paycheck.

No one ever called. I was not hired at any of the fast-food places. Now, I’m a U.Va. student with a 3.4 GPA, two majors and a minor and … well, it’s unimportant. The real message I’m trying to convey is that just because you’re qualified, doesn’t mean you’ll get the gig.

The way to prevent this situation is to get the ball rolling early – we’re talking April – and you’ll save yourself rejection later. Take a spring weekend and go home to beat the rush. Tell them you’re coming and have your stuff together. Also, send word through your friends and family that you’re looking for a job. At least if none of them have an offer, they can keep their eyes open on your behalf. Look for seasonal jobs as well – winter-time ones would be things like stacking wood and summery stints include mowing lawns or washing cars.

Finally, just try to be a good person. And prepare for the worst.

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

This week I’m going to write about persimmons. Oh yes, that most noble of fruits. No, hang on, that’s wrong. You’ll have to excuse me (well, you don’t have to, but it’d be a very generous move on your part). I’m graduating from college on Sunday and my brain’s just about full to capacity. Bet you didn’t know that could happen. It can. So don’t fill up your headspace with all those song lyrics, ok?

This week’s column, my last, is about persistence. My college career has been peppered with situations in which I had to just get through things, without complaining or ignoring the situation. The instances range from the serious — when I was a varsity athlete with asthma — to the trivial — my housemate’s sub-optimal hygiene habits.

I haven’t experienced the real world yet, but I figure persistence is going to continue to be a theme in life. Like watching cooking shows. That will probably be a theme too.

If things don’t go your way, sometimes you can change the circumstances and sometimes you can’t. The second option takes an entirely different skill set than the first. (Did you notice that term, “skill set?” That’s the kind of talk we graduates use. If someone had said those words to me my first year I would have thought they were talking about matching silverware.) Things don’t break your way and there are times you can’t get away from a bad situation, so you just have to persevere.

I’m not really prone to feeling sorry for myself, but I found that the less I complained about a situation, the easier it was to get through. I might mention an unpleasant experience to a friend; I might even mention it in what some would call a whiny voice. But to anyone directly involved — a coworker or boss — I kept my mouth shut. Don’t advertise your unhappiness. The few times I was uncomfortable in a workplace and kept my complaints to myself — they weren’t constructive, but personal annoyances — my actions ended up benefiting me through cool promotions, glowing letters of recommendation and so on.

College is designed to teach you to be persistent. Every student wants to befriend the great teachers, so you have to stand out academically and in personality. You’re separated from your family and hometown. You might not like your roommate, your resident advisor, your academic advisor, your lunchlady … Unless you’re lucky, there will be required classes you have to take and you may hate them. You may have to work a job that you dislike. The bad news is that most of these things can’t be changed without a lot of stress and effort on everyone’s part. The good news is they all have a time limit.

Persistence takes a certain mindset (different from a skill set, but nearly as useful). Think of your trials and tribulations as mountains: They’re high, they’re serious and they’re unpleasant to go through, but a finite number of steps will get you over them. Every day the end comes closer, so chin up. Be tough and resilient and the persimmons of your labors will come to you.

Thank you for reading this year and for sending me your thoughts. I’ll be at Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism in the fall, so keep your eyes peeled for more parentheses, more puns and a lot more of my writing!