Humor

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

When designing this column, I aim to relate the peaks and pitfalls of my experience as an undergraduate in a way that will make you think, feel and laugh. I hope the information I’ve shared has been a help. As a grand finale and because I love compilations, I created this: a list of the Top 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Four Years Ago.

1. … that Barbaro was going to suffer a breakdown in the Preakness. That’s the last time I’ll put my money on a horse.
2. … not to take survey classes. A general education in a subject may sound like a good idea, but these types of courses are often lecture-based, over-populated and generally useless. Go for something more specialized, even if you don’t have a background in the area.
3. … that numbers don’t correspond with difficulty level. Unlike the gym’s RPE (Rate of Perceived Exertion) levels, course numbers don’t indicate how much effort you’ll put into the class. Higher numbers almost always mean smaller classes, which almost always work better for almost everyone.
4. … to spend time alone. I place a lot of emphasis on involvement in extracurricular activities, and the fuller my schedule is, the better I function. Yet, some of the moments I felt most at peace were when I was strolling through my neighborhood, baking, knitting, out for a drive… don’t be afraid to do things by yourself.
5. … to expect a change in outlook. I knew I’d be different after four years at U.Va., but I was thinking in terms of hair cuts and favorite colors. I didn’t foresee a huge change in my political opinions or which groups I identify myself with. Even my musical taste has altered. That’s right, folks. Now I only listen to the Beach Boys on special occasions.
6. … to figure out how you operate. It seems obvious, but learning what strategies work for you can simplify your life enormously. I like to study with music playing, but if there are lyrics, I can’t focus. I accomplish more if I do it early in the day, rather than late at night. Pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses early and learn to work with – not against – yourself.
7. … to take pictures. Like reality television, college is worth documenting.
8. … to enjoy your college. Go to sporting events, shows and class functions. You’ll feel tapped into the school. And there’s always free food.
9. … to cozy up to your city. Even if you live in a college town like Charlottesville, there are loads of local happenings that will appeal to you. It’s also important to remember that you aren’t living in a city created exclusively for students; imagine the town as a hotel that you’re staying in. Think town center, not self-centered.
10. … to choose teachers, not topics. A good professor is like a pair of galoshes. You can wear them in all weather and be pretty comfortable. A bad professor is like a pair of spiky stilettos. They look nice for a while, but it’s t-minus two minutes until your feet begin to hurt. Great teachers will make anything interesting and the opposite is true of bad ones.

This story was published in 2007 for FastWeb, an online education resource and scholarship search engine.

Seeing the University of Virginia’s men’s basketball team make it to the second round of the NCAA tournament brought me back my own basketball career. Though it was short-lived, I made good use of my two-inch vertical leap and attained virtual stardom in my 175-person high school. Oh yes, my fingers were like the jaws of steel traps. My speed was such that they called me Molly ”Mach 3” Seltzer.

My coaches stressed the benefits of visualization. They’d stand at my shoulder on the foul line and murmur in their most convincing disembodied-genie-in-the-magic-lamp voices, “Believe the ball’s going in … See yourself sinking the shot … Watch yourself score.” Being a snarky know-it-all who actually knew nothing, I’d chuck the ball too hard, too high, just to prove their Jedi mind trick tactics didn’t work. I was a fine player without visualization. I was above that. I was impervious.

I was stupid.

According to a special series on the brain in the January 29 issue of TIME Magazine, “The brain can change as a result of the thoughts we think.” This means that putting a spin on things in your head – “That test went terribly, I’m going to fail the class” versus “That test was pretty bad, but at least I know what to study for next time” – can not only make you happier and more satisfied with your life, but might also increase your chances of succeeding in the future.

So is the power of positive thinking a sure thing?
If we think positively, will we get good results … positively?

Is luck learned behavior? Can you think yourself successful?

I’m still waiting to hear from my first-choice graduate school and though I’m getting frustrated, I’m attempting to be firmly and unfailingly optimistic. But I can’t will things to happen. (A problem I would categorize as a “total bummer.”) Since there’s nothing I can do but wait, a cheerful outlook seems to be just the ticket. The view posited by bestselling self-help books and numerous alternative texts suggests that American culture’s obsessive nature has turned superstitious. This is nothing new, of course. After all, former Red Sox and Yankees player Wade Boggs ate chicken before every game, without fail. (One might say he was looking to avoid a fowl ball, har har.) You’d be hard pressed to find a person who isn’t aware of the rituals surrounding ladders, black cats, sidewalk cracks and the number 13.

The Law of Attraction says that the thoughts you think call similar thoughts to you. So if you’re worried that you’ll be late for class and you keep thinking about being late for class, you’ll probably be late for class. Most people have experienced this in terms of tripping or stumbling – if you think about falling down, you generally do. The principle works similarly with positive thoughts; if you envision, if you believe and feel that you’re achieving something, can you make it happen? Simply through the power of your thoughts?

There’s nascent scientific evidence that humans can somehow change the chemistry of their brain by repeatedly thinking certain thoughts. Where the Law of Attraction differs from science is that it takes this one step further and suggests that by changing your brain, you can also change what happens in your life.

I have a hard time grasping how my free throws affect the universe, but the point is that a positive outlook certainly changes how you perceive yourself, which changes what risks you take, what friends you have and other important aspects of your life. While optimism begets success, I believe in backing things up with hard work, perseverance and a little luck, though visualization couldn’t hurt.

Swish.