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Stats I’d Like to Know

1. How many other people in the world had “Ridin’ Dirty” stuck in their heads today

2. How many photos a piece of my body has accidentally appeared in

3. How many times my dog and I have exchanged Eskimo kisses

4. How many people are looking out their windows Right.This.Very.Second.Right.Now.

5. How many times Cleopatra REALLY took milk baths

6. How many decibels my loudest screech has been / when I screeched / why I was screeching

7. How many people have a maple leaf tattoo like mine (I know of at least one in the world. Wherever you are, guy from Canada taking your gap year in 2008 and sitting next to me on the train from Seattle to Chicago, I hope you had / are having an awesome life. I both do and do not regret giving you the window seat during the overnight periods.)

8. When the first time I rolled my eyes was, and how many times I’ve done it since

9. How many times I’ve used internet slang (wtf/btw/omg) in real life and how many times I’ve bothered to spell out lengthy or combination words while typing

10. How many times I’ve thought about you vs. how many times you’ve thought about me


Welcome to my new site. The site is currently under construction but should be fully operational very shortly. (The blog, however, is up and running!)

If you are looking for my old website, it can be found here. Let me know if you have any questions while we are transitioning!